Eggs just bounce

Egg
via Daily Prompt: Egg

Eggs might reasonably have been the very first indication that my alimentary canal is somewhat…umm…temperamental. Perhaps it was an early warning that I wasn’t never going to just be able to eat what I wanted in my life. Maybe it is genetic, maybe it is just a glitch in my individual inner workings.

My older sister (by 18 months) loves eggs and practically lived on the “boil-dy” from a very young age. So when I arrived, my parents, tried the normal methods of introduction…but no. It wasn’t happening.

It wasn’t that I refused to eat them – my Dad always had a sneaky method of getting the spoon in – it was more that eggs just enjoy using my stomach as a trampoline. After trying every method of presentation; soft boiled, hard boiled, fried, scrambled, coddled, poached, mayonnaised, omeletted, quiched, even with sugar in a tart…they quickly gave up.

Throughout my childhood, my Mother occasionally tried again. Scrambled eggs on toast was one of her staple offerings for tea but it must have been annoying if someone in the family had a stomach that flatly refused to welcome them in. Sometimes her stubborn refusal to accept it won out and she dished them up anyway. I soon discovered that if I disguised them with copious amounts of ketchup my stomach would be fooled into accepting the meal (but we’re talking most of the bottle here – which didn’t impress her either – I couldn’t win).

Eventually, we all gave up and decades later, I still can’t eat them unless they are very, very heavily disguised. I could manage a quiche Lorraine with herbs, strong cheddar and bacon. I could also manage a very heavily loaded omelette with cheese and tomato, but a plain egg or anything that tasted vaguely of egg has the same effect as it did when I was a child…and just bounces off the bottom of my stomach.

I say ‘could’ because my stomach has now moved onto repelling other food stuff, including cheese (presumably the lactose), gluten and grapes (i’m not sure why grapes result in such a violent reaction), and as the foods I can comfortably eat are diminishing alarmingly I’ve been referred to a dietitian later this month. I’ll keep you posted…

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