I occasionally tell Barry that he has the Emotional Intelligence of a potato (Usually when he has done something I consider to be particularly insensitive – such as erase my Sky planner savings). However, I always reflect afterwards and wonder whether I am actually very high on the EI quota myself?
Google can give you loads of information on ascertaining whether you have a decent level of EI. The most obvious indicators seem to be;
1. Use of emotional language. Check. I can readily explain how I’m feeling in wide, varied (and frequently flowery) vocabulary. People who resort to insults when they run out of argument make me laugh. If you’re calling me names, you’ve lost the battle. I’m not easily offended (that SBM rhino skin) and I don’t hold grudges. Come back and have another go when you’ve smartened up your vocabulary.
2. Cares about others. Check. I care about my fellow man (and woman) but what I’m not good at is communicating how I feel. I rarely cry in movies and I’m not one to express my horror at tragic events in the news on social media. This doesn’t mean I’m not moved. It just means I’m British.
3. Ability to embrace change. Definitely Check. I love change. It excites me. I love variety. What can I say? I’m a Gemini. I’m easily bored.
4. Aware of own strengths and weaknesses. Check. One of the purposes of my blog year is to explore what I’m good at (and what I’m not). 2017 is a year of self-improvement for me, promoting and practicing what I’m good at and learning more about my weaknesses so I can address them. I think my main weakness is that I’m not a great completer/finisher but if you’re aware of it, you can work at improving it, right? 2017 is also a big birthday for me, a turning point, a milestone, the start of a new chapter, (I plan to enjoy it).
5. Good judge of character. Check. I believe I am fairly easy going, (“low maintenance” I tell Barry – who then chokes on his drink) I tend not to take things personally – after I’ve got over the sting of being stabbed in the back. I guess I don’t suffer fools particularly well and I’m not good with cliques (even if I’m in it). I like to treat everyone equally and give them a chance, I want everyone to be friends, I like peace but not at the expense of societal sectors or progress.
So, according to the experts, my EI seems to be of an appropriate level?… Maybe. I’ve still got some areas to improve.
I must try harder not to enjoy arguing so much and remember that not everyone relishes debate.
I must try and let go of the control freak in me. “Bossy”, the Head calls me (I just pass him a copy of the Single Equality Policy with a smile. He wouldn’t call a male AHT bossy, anyway one of his frequent requests to me is to “boss the situation”.)
I must work harder to empathise. I need to listen to the feelings surrounding the problem as well as the problem itself. I tend to launch too quickly into resolution mode without giving others the chance to express themselves.
I need to say ‘No’ more often. I need to look after my own wellbeing. Sleep, exercise and nutrition are not going to sort themselves out. They need engagement from me.
Finally, I must try harder not to liken my husband to a root vegetable.